Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I wasn't prepared for this.

I think every parent realizes at some point that there are some things that NO ONE can prepare you for once you have children.  I'm not talking big deal things, but silly little things that drive you nuts.  People warn us about the big things, but seem to forget to tell us about some of the following:

-  In a matter of a week you can be both disgusted by and utterly thrilled at the sight of poop.

-  You will find milk splatter everywhere.  On your furniture, clothing, electronics, toys...EVERYWHERE.  Also, it can be harder to clean than plaster.

-  You will find yourself spending more money on shoes for your little one than you do yourself.  For shoe lovers, like me, this is a great disappointment.

-  Your attic and every closet will be stuffed with containers full of outgrown clothing, toys, and other baby items.  Inevitably, this will cause an argument between the parent who wants to give it all away and the one that wants to keep it for the "next one."

-  If you never washed your walls before, you will now.

-  High chairs are disgusting.  No amount of cleaning and washing will be able to remove all of the dried banana, peanut butter, and ketchup from it.

-  You will begin defending certain children's programming to others, not because you don't agree with their assessment of it as "creepy" but because it makes your child happy.  And, anything that keeps him/her from throwing a tantrum is ok in your book.

-  You will get really mad at yourself for throwing away stale bread, cereal, and crackers rather than saving them to feed the ducks.

-  Kitchen counters are no longer just a place to prepare meals and display kitchen accessories, they become a catch all for everything from change to mail in order to keep them out of your little one's reach.

-  You will get so used to using the bathroom with the door open that you may forget about closing it even when company comes over.  QUITE EMBARRASSING!

-  You will no longer be able to sit down and enjoy a snack or something to drink without having to share it.

-  You will become a horrible songwriter about everything from buckling the car seat to the food in the frozen food isle.

-  Last but not least,  you'll find that you don't really care about any of the above things.  In the end, it's all worth it!

Now, what "little things" weren't you prepared for since becoming a parent?



  1. Spit up! I knew babies spit up, ten years and childcare taught me that one. No one told me that your baby might spit up EVERY SINGLE TIME! Angel pukes anytime you put pressure on his belly. When he's on your shoulder, on his tummy, in the exersaucer and leaning forward, in the Bumbo and leaning forward. Every time. He has done this since the day we brought him home. Why wasn't I warned?!?!?!?!