Since Bryan and I had Jackson and moved to TN, we've talked a lot about our plans for when we wanted to have another child. We know we want more children (at least 1 more, maybe 2) but were trying to be smart about the timing of it all. We wanted Jackson to have some time to feel like an only child, we wanted to wait until his speech development caught up, and MOST OF ALL we wanted to keep our guest bedroom for a while.
Now, I know that sounds silly, but keep in mind that we live in a 3 bedroom home, at least 9 hours from family. That means if people want to come visit, they need a place to stay. The entire time we lived in SC, we didn't have a functioning guest bedroom. And, it's the one thing I looked forward to the most when moving to a larger home. I wanted a place for our family and friends to come and visit and feel comfortable. And, I've loved having it! So, Bryan and I decided we would wait to add to our family for a few more years. Maybe by then we could afford to move into a bigger home...or maybe the baby itch would be so bad by then that we didn't care.
Well, God had other plans.
While visiting family in Maryland, I was supposed to get a visit from my "monthly friend." When she didn't come on the day she was supposed to, I was perplexed. I'm never late. NEVER. My cycle is like clockwork. I can just about predict the tides by it. Nonetheless, I pushed the concern to the back of my mind...Maybe it's the stress of the 17 hour drive? Maybe I calculated wrong or didn't write it down correctly? She'll come tomorrow. I was determined to enjoy my vacation and really didn't think about it until the next evening, when she still hadn't paid me a visit.
I broke down and told Bryan that I was a day late and was a little concerned that something was going on. He was wide-eyed but immediately asked me if I "felt" pregnant. See, when I was pregnant with Jackson, I felt it before I even got a positive test. In fact, I had so many symptoms so early that I got a positive test almost a week before I was supposed to get my period and we even thought I could be pregnant with twins because my hormone levels were so high. I told Bryan that I didn't feel pregnant at all, so I just thought I was late. If I didn't start by tomorrow morning, we'd go get a pregnancy test.
Well, the next morning rolled around and I still hadn't gotten my monthly friend. So, we went to the store and bought a test. I decided to wait to take it until the next morning, just in case. Plus, they're more accurate if you take them first thing in the morning.
On the morning July 4th, in my grandmother's bathroom, we had our own little fireworks show when I saw this...
|HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!|
Bryan and I were SHOCKED! I had convinced myself I wasn't pregnant, and I couldn't believe I was. We proceeded to tell our immediate family, and I began the process of going through the bag of emotions that comes with an unplanned pregnancy.
Bryan was over the moon, and I was too. But, I was also scared. Scared of miscarriage because I've had one before. Scared that I wouldn't love this baby as much as I love Jackson. Scared for my sanity of being a stay at home mom of two children. Scared about finances. And, what would happen to my lovely guest bedroom?! Where would family stay when they came to see this new baby?!
I don't have the answer to the guest bedroom question yet. And, for some ridiculous reason, it seems to be my biggest concern. I know it's silly, I know...but I can't help it!
God has given me peace though. It took a scary weekend of some pretty severe cramping, which just turned out to be a bad UTI, but I got peace. We praised God and breathed a huge sigh of relief to see that the baby was just fine and already had a strong heartbeat at just 6 weeks and 2 days.
|Hello, little Sweet Pea!|
And, we are VERY, VERY excited to welcome this new baby into the world in March!
Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy, delivery, and baby as miscarriage is never far from our minds. We know that once you get a heartbeat the chances of miscarriage decrease significantly, but we also know from close friends that there is never a "safe point."