Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Adventures in Wal-Mart

During today's grocery shopping trip I experienced disgust, confusion, panic, thankfulness, and favor.  Oh, and I almost got a ticket.  Bet you wanna know what happened, huh?  Well here goes...

Within the first few minutes of walking in the door of Wal-Mart I got that uh-oh feeling.  You know the one I'm talking about -- the "uh-oh I have to take a BM and absolutely don't want to do it in public" feeling.  Especially in the disgusting, smelly Wal-Mart bathroom.  I tried to ignore it but by the time I got back to the sippy cups there was no denying that I was gonna have to go!  Good thing I learned the trick to using the bathroom in Wal-Mart when I was pregnant.  There are two public restrooms, the one in the front and then the one in the back where the old lay-away desk is.  The ones in the front are always disgusting...the ones in the back are fairly clean.  You know you choose the right one when every time you go in you find an employee using the restroom too.  See...they know!

So, as I was using the bathroom (sorry for the TMI) I looked up at the cart (full of merchandise you aren't supposed to take into the bathroom, hence the "No Merchandise Beyond This Point" sign I pretended to ignore on my way in) to see Jackson - red faced, straining, and grunting.  Great just what I wanted...to change him in the public restroom too!  Is it weird that we seem to be on the same schedule?  I finished up and then started changing his diaper when my dad called.  Great timing, Dad!  Nonetheless I answer and then comes the confusion...

He was at one of those everything tourist stores on the way back from the beach (the ones that have alluring billboards for miles before you get to it and Bryan refuses to let me stop at) and wanted to know what size shoe Jackson wore so he could get him some Moccasins.  Moccasins Dad, really?  And from Sparkys??  Do you know how hard it is to keep regular shoes on Jackson?  Let alone flimsy, cheap things you overpaid for at a glorified gas station?!  Thankfully, they didn't have his size and I was able to back my dad off the gas station moccasin ledge.  I hung up, put the phone down, washed up, and got out of the public restroom after spending WAY too long in there!

I finished up my shopping and loaded everything in the car.  I grabbed my purse as I was pulling out and started to search for my cell phone.  I couldn't find it anywhere.  I was wracking my brain trying to remember if I had it out in the store.  And, then in hit me -- CRAP!  I left it in the bathroom.  Oh shoot!  Oh shoot!  I just knew someone had picked it up and taken it.  It's an iPhone -- that's way too much temptation to do the right thing!

In a panic, I whipped the car around, parked in the fire lane, grabbed Jackson and ran into the store.  Luckily, one of my best girl friend's sister works at the mini-bank right inside.  I asked her if I could drop Jackson off with her while I hunted my phone down and of course she was more than willing to help!  Thank you Jesus for putting someone I knew and trusted right where I needed them so I could run through the store in a blind panic without giving my child whiplash!  

I ran through the store praying over and over, "Please, Jesus!  Please let my phone be in the bathroom.  Please, Jesus!"  I busted into the bathroom and found my phone right where I left it on the changing table.  I really don't know what I would've done if my phone had been gone.  Thank you, Lord!  I walked back, got Jackson and headed out...finally.  But as soon as I hit the door, my heart started to race...panic again...


Again I was thinking, "CRAP!  Please don't give me a ticket.  Please give me favor, Lord!"  

As I got closer to him, I saw that he was smiling, which surprisingly made me feel better.  It was a kind smile...not a "gotchya" smile.  I told the officer I was so sorry that I ran in the store in a panic b/c I'd left my cell phone in the bathroom and b/c I had my toddler with me.  Oh, and of course I pleaded that he not give me a ticket.  He laughed and said he understood.  He said he'd just looked in the car to see it full of groceries with a child seat and knew it must've been some type of emergency.  I thanked him and he told me to have a good day and gave me a "just don't do it again" smile this time.  Hey, I'll take that look over a ticket ANY DAY!  As I drove away I thanked the Lord again for His favor.

I'm always happy to get the heck outta Wal-Mart, but I was especially happy about it today.  I'm kind of surprised I didn't break down on the way home, actually.

All of this happened before noon, by the way.  Here's to the rest of the day being a huge bore!



  1. That's on par with my Staples lollipop Steven King fiasco. But scarier because you lost your cell phone {shivers}

  2. Why does everything happen at Wal Mart?